this post is exactly going to be what it sounds like.
hey, guys! how you guys doin’? and please tell me. i need to know how bad you are doing because I am currently suffering from the “grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side” syndrome. lol, i sound like a terrible person.
first of all, i am incredibly sorry for being mia this past week. every time i picked up my phone, the wordpress app just glared at me. it was like – it was angry at me for not liking and interacting with all of my fellow bloggers post, and i tried to be active here. i opened it and commented on a few posts but I mostly just skim read stuff. that was annoying. i like to read other people’s work but i just couldn’t concentrate. it was like all of my tasks were just hovering over my head with a loud fucking buzz.
and this is going to sound terrible (but i am not boasting) – i am a huge procrastinator but i am also very nit-picky. meaning i want what i do to be good and really good. and if it goes bad, it haunts me, literally and i won’t be able to concentrate on anything until i get it out.
at first, i thought of going on a hiatus. because all around the blogosphere i kept seeing all final year high school students seem to be doing it. but honestly, i don’t think i can just stop blogging just like that. it means a ton to me and you know? it has just become a part of my daily life.
the pressure, however has just increased ten fold. and with the increased screen time. ugh. i know, i keep saying increased screen time and it’s getting old. but it’s true. i was just checking my phone’s screen time the other day and it surpassed like *ahehm* let’s just say more than half the day. and well i can eliminate a lot of hours because i do have a lot of work and school related stuff in my phone. and i tend to read a lot of e-books in my phone. and i always have some sort of music play in the background. so, i can eliminate a lot of the hours. But i still want to decrease it, because it is not healthy. and it’s kinda exhausting. because when i am not on my phone, i am on my laptop. and it’s making me very irritable.
also, my exams just started this week. that is also one more annoying thing.
and i thought that lil’ old me can handle it. because, I work just fine with deadlines. in fact, i work better with deadlines and pressure. you know how percy jackson says it, ““Deadlines just aren’t real to me until I’m staring one in the face.”
but i realized that it’s not the pressure that’s getting to me. it’s that i am getting really tired with the screen time.
so, of course i won’t – i cannot disappear from wordpress. period. even if it means popping in to just do tags or post a lame ass quote i am gonna do it. so, yeah expect me to spam your reader with a quote at least once a week. fingers crossed. and I really really hope you understand if i just like your posts, and not comment on them. i am truly sorry. i just don’t wanna comment “great post!” or “great review!” without reading.
and this is the part where i start to terrorize myself. ha. ha. so, your girl was suddenly very intrigued by blog tours and so she went ahead and signed up for a bunch of them never expecting to be accepted for even one of them. lol. but i heard back from each of them.
at first i was ecstatic like – holy shit! Now, as the list went on increasing, i was like “holy. shit.” because these require a lot of commitment. And yep! they are taking place in a span of two months but i think they are gonna be the only books that I can manage to read. (sighs)
and of course i had so many books planned that I absolutely wanted to read before turning eighteen this november, but of course school doesn’t like the sound of that. so, there goes my plans down the drain. i can see it peeking up and mocking at me. But I AM NOT GOING TO ENGAGE.
well, that felt good.
so, i am gonna list all the blog tours here, you know just to keep me grounded. if i feel like giving up, emailing them and telling them that i can’t be a part of the tour – it would be too easy and i don’t like that lol. i am listing them here to remind me that i want/need to do this. you can ignore it if you want. this list is completely for me.
phew. so there goes nothing. i do have a few drafted fun posts but they need a lil’ bit of editing. and hopefully, i can tweak and turn them a little bit during boring lectures and get them to you! apart from these books, i have five e-arcs with me but a lot of them don’t come out until after september.
and don’t even ask me how many books i read this month. and why the hell do people give like a week’s gap between two exams? what is this? a form of torture strategy? it’s like preparing for impending doom lol.
and lastly, i miss u guys a ton. and i can promise that i am not trying to act like a busybody/spiteful proud someone by not replying to your comments or texts or by commenting on your posts. a lot is happening right now. and unfortunately – not a fun lot. but i love reading about you guys, so please don’t stop. 🥺 thank you so much for your support. <33