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check in aka ashmita rambling, complaining, and apologizing for three minutes straight (also terrorizing herself)

this post is exactly going to be what it sounds like.

hey, guys! how you guys doin’? and please tell me. i need to know how bad you are doing because I am currently suffering from the “grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side” syndrome. lol, i sound like a terrible person.

first of all, i am incredibly sorry for being mia this past week. every time i picked up my phone, the wordpress app just glared at me. it was like – it was angry at me for not liking and interacting with all of my fellow bloggers post, and i tried to be active here. i opened it and commented on a few posts but I mostly just skim read stuff. that was annoying. i like to read other people’s work but i just couldn’t concentrate. it was like all of my tasks were just hovering over my head with a loud fucking buzz.

and this is going to sound terrible (but i am not boasting) – i am a huge procrastinator but i am also very nit-picky. meaning i want what i do to be good and really good. and if it goes bad, it haunts me, literally and i won’t be able to concentrate on anything until i get it out.

at first, i thought of going on a hiatus. because all around the blogosphere i kept seeing all final year high school students seem to be doing it. but honestly, i don’t think i can just stop blogging just like that. it means a ton to me and you know? it has just become a part of my daily life.

the pressure, however has just increased ten fold. and with the increased screen time. ugh. i know, i keep saying increased screen time and it’s getting old. but it’s true. i was just checking my phone’s screen time the other day and it surpassed like *ahehm* let’s just say more than half the day. and well i can eliminate a lot of hours because i do have a lot of work and school related stuff in my phone. and i tend to read a lot of e-books in my phone. and i always have some sort of music play in the background. so, i can eliminate a lot of the hours. But i still want to decrease it, because it is not healthy. and it’s kinda exhausting. because when i am not on my phone, i am on my laptop. and it’s making me very irritable.

also, my exams just started this week. that is also one more annoying thing.

and i thought that lil’ old me can handle it. because, I work just fine with deadlines. in fact, i work better with deadlines and pressure. you know how percy jackson says it, “โ€œDeadlines just aren’t real to me until I’m staring one in the face.โ€

but i realized that it’s not the pressure that’s getting to me. it’s that i am getting really tired with the screen time.

so, of course i won’t – i cannot disappear from wordpress. period. even if it means popping in to just do tags or post a lame ass quote i am gonna do it. so, yeah expect me to spam your reader with a quote at least once a week. fingers crossed. and I really really hope you understand if i just like your posts, and not comment on them. i am truly sorry. i just don’t wanna comment “great post!” or “great review!” without reading.

and this is the part where i start to terrorize myself. ha. ha. so, your girl was suddenly very intrigued by blog tours and so she went ahead and signed up for a bunch of them never expecting to be accepted for even one of them. lol. but i heard back from each of them.

at first i was ecstatic like – holy shit! Now, as the list went on increasing, i was like “holy. shit.” because these require a lot of commitment. And yep! they are taking place in a span of two months but i think they are gonna be the only books that I can manage to read. (sighs)

and of course i had so many books planned that I absolutely wanted to read before turning eighteen this november, but of course school doesn’t like the sound of that. so, there goes my plans down the drain. i can see it peeking up and mocking at me. But I AM NOT GOING TO ENGAGE.

well, that felt good.

so, i am gonna list all the blog tours here, you know just to keep me grounded. if i feel like giving up, emailing them and telling them that i can’t be a part of the tour – it would be too easy and i don’t like that lol. i am listing them here to remind me that i want/need to do this. you can ignore it if you want. this list is completely for me.

phew. so there goes nothing. i do have a few drafted fun posts but they need a lil’ bit of editing. and hopefully, i can tweak and turn them a little bit during boring lectures and get them to you! apart from these books, i have five e-arcs with me but a lot of them don’t come out until after september. thank god.

and don’t even ask me how many books i read this month. and why the hell do people give like a week’s gap between two exams? what is this? a form of torture strategy? it’s like preparing for impending doom lol.

and lastly, i miss u guys a ton. and i can promise that i am not trying to act like a busybody/spiteful proud someone by not replying to your comments or texts or by commenting on your posts. a lot is happening right now. and unfortunately – not a fun lot. but i love reading about you guys, so please don’t stop. ๐Ÿฅบ thank you so much for your support. <33

k. byee! โค

78 thoughts on “check in aka ashmita rambling, complaining, and apologizing for three minutes straight (also terrorizing herself)

  1. Gosh, public school causes so much stress I don’t see why people don’t just look into changing to something else! But, I mean, if you’re in your last year…seems a little pointless. I really hope you can find a way to de-stress and breath! Good luck with your exams! I’ll be praying! xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

  2. i understand why you might be overwhelmed by everything that’s on your plate. i do hope you get a moment to relax soon, though, and also manage to be satisfied with everything you DO get done from here on out!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Mela bacha itta stress me hai, me not likey ๐Ÿ˜•.
    Inne shaare blog tour aah ๐Ÿ˜
    Okay I’m done with speaking Hindi ~
    So dude, um…all the best for ur stressy life (yeah, as if *that* will help u). Also do not worry about not being active, we all love ya so we understand!
    So yeah….. that is all I can say ๐Ÿ˜….
    Take care….too formal? ๐Ÿ˜—
    *ponders what to say*
    …see ya soon all the best ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Though the week’s gap is somewhat helpful, it is soooo irritatingg! Even I don’t understand why they do that! And well, no problem, I guess we all know how much exams and screen time sucks! Despite your thousands of efforts, there is a rare chance of your screen time to decrease by 1 hour. Hope you get time to chill out soon and whoa, only 4 months until you turn 18!!! โค

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s totally cool and understandable. Truly, we all think you’re awesome and needing a break is totally chill. I also signed up for a bajillion blog tours a while back ’cause my silly self was like “hey you’re not gonna get into any so why not just try?!” and now here I am. Sigh. Anyway, take all the time you need ๐Ÿ’–
    Also best of luck on your exams and only four months until you’re โœจeighteenโœจ is amazing

    Liked by 2 people

  6. All of us need a break from time to time. It can be hard to manage all of that. Don’t worry, Ashmita. Take your own time. All the best for your exams. Write because you want to, because it gives you happiness, not because you feel pressurised to write. Take care

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Are you in clasd 12 in an ICSE school? Reading your rant it felt like so..
    Ahh, I totally understand, aami nijeyi kichu te focus korte parchi na. That’s why I am writing posts every 6 days or so and then I sit down to read at night.
    And 4 months to go! Amaazing!!โœจ
    Sending love!โค

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You just wrote down everything I’m feeling XD
    I can relate so much to the deadline thing, I’m studying in 12th, and my mother keeps telling to study now and not leave it for one month before the exams, but IT IS JUST NOT WORKING.
    And I have the same issue with signing up for too much, except I have too many ARCs instead of blog tours, and at this point I’m just scrambling to read all of them and take notes and then write reviews peacefully without hurrying it up.
    Hope it gets better for you! โค โค โค

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Also, I forgot to write this in the other comment, but I got the ARCs for the Cup and The Prince and the series too, and I hope you enjoy!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. oof, of course, we understand, ash. hope it gets better. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’™ till then, quotes will do just fine. ๐Ÿ˜‚
    that’s a lot of blog tours! ๐Ÿ˜‚where do you sign up for them? I am clearly clueless. ๐Ÿ˜— whoa, less than five months until you turn eighteen. ๐Ÿ˜ณ eeeeee.
    (I’m sorry, I sound so uninterested in this comment. Idk. I’m not feeling great about my blog and all. sorry. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ)

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Ashmitaaaa๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    I’m sorry but you ranting about your own self is super hilarious! Well, I hope you get into happy spirits again! And btw,
    WHY IS THIS SO DAMN RELATABLE!
    We won’t mind even if you spam our WP readers. We’ll be happy instead ๐Ÿ˜‚โœจ
    Sending a lotta lovee!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Haha this rant feels so relatable ๐Ÿ˜… I am feeling the same from past few weeks… like I can’t leave wordpress but I don’t want to do anything…. I read people’s posts, I even type comment but then backspace it…
    Although I am trying to get back on track

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Take it from a high school and university graduate: reading and blogging can wait. Focus on yourself, we’ll all be here whenever you have the time to come back. Don’t force yourself to come online/do all of that reading and writing girl you’re making me stressed! ๐Ÿ˜… School is more important โค๏ธ

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Haha yes it is sometimes helpful. But I feel like maybe just a few days would do, why a gods damned week?! ๐Ÿ˜‚ I always end up studying on the last few days lol. Ikr! I hope so too โค๏ธ and yess!! I am trying not to think abt it ๐Ÿ‘€ it’s kinda unnerving. Thankx for this lovely comment siya โค๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hi, Ashmita!๐Ÿ’– We understand how bad you feel about not being able to read, like or comment on others’ posts. We all have gone through this atleast once in our blogging journey (I have come to a point where my studies are not letting me read the many blog series which I was looking forward to.๐Ÿ˜‚). So, believe me, it’s fine if you cannot be active in the community, your priorities should be your priority (I’m sorry, I’m bad at giving advice) and well, do what makes you happy and don’t get stressed; blogging is all about having fun!

    Now, I might have deviated from the main topic about which I was going to talk about (I always do this, actually. Even while writing essays for exams) so, if this comment makes no sense at all then my brain, which is being strange these days, is to be blamed for that.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. It’s totally fine – everyone has other things going on and nobody expects you to interact 24/7! One thing that helps me is to schedule posts in advance so you don’t stress yourself out too much – I hope that helps! โค

    Liked by 1 person

  17. omg i remember a few months ago i also signed up for SO many blog tours, and i couldn’t read anything else, or post anything other than those posts a month ago (so you’re not alone โค๏ธ) if you need someone to talk to, i’m here!! โค๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

  18. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ thank you soo much for this comment Maeve. So sorry for the delay. I keep missing big chunks of comments on my post ๐Ÿคฆ and ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I know right. I went and signed up for the ones I wasn’t even that excited about because I was like 118% sure I won’t get accepted.

    And thankx a bunch. Well, its uh…far from amazing. let’s keep it at that. ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Like

  19. Ahh thank you soo much shweta di!!! Ah yes yes. So true. I don’t want to end up hating because I pressurized myself. But honestly, I have tried to make writing more like a habit of sorts you know. Because I can’t always wait for the inspiration to hit or things to be better. ๐Ÿ˜ƒโค๏ธThank you and you too!!

    Like

  20. Yep!! Class 12 ISC school. Haha, I guess I made it evident. Ami jani!!! So sorry I missed out on your comment ๐Ÿ˜ฃ honestly, I have kinda lost the motivation to read. It’s like I want to but I can’t. Sighs.

    Well, its far from amazing ๐Ÿ˜‚ but thank you akโค๏ธ

    Like

  21. Ahh ray ray thank you soo much for understanding ๐Ÿ’œ you’re the best. I am glad that you are willing to put up with quotes ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Oh!!! Honestly, I didn’t know how either. I just opened up the blog of the few people I knew participated in blog tours and they usually mention in their posts which blog tour company? (U call them company right?) Which blog tour company is hosting it. I google it and there is usually a sign up thingie on their website much like the follow button on ours. Once, you do that, whenever they are hosting a blog tour they will email you. And you can open the email and sign up via the Google form they provide. Here’s a few for you to try out – favourite pages book club, tbr and beyond, expresso tours, Lola’s of tours.

    I can’t remember any others off the top of my head, but I usually mention them in my posts. So, u can always keep an eye out for that. โค๏ธ

    And ikr!! Less than five months. Phew. Talk about time flying lmao.

    Haha don’t worry. U and ur blog are great! It’s okay โค๏ธโœจ

    Whoa, now this comment can easily be a post ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… but I hope it helped๐Ÿ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Ahhh divi!!! I missed out on your comment ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ but ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I am so glad it made you laugh lmao

    I hope so too. I am catching up on late comments, so I think it’s safe to say that I have given up on life ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ jk.
    Ahh so glad to hear that!! Get your daggers ready cuz I am most definitely spamming it this week!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Ahh thank you soo much Zainab! That is such a helpful tip!! I do that tooo but most of the time I just post on an impulse ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… but I guess I should srsly schedule stuff from now on. And thank you once again for this lovely comment and I apologize for being so te ๐Ÿ˜ฃโค๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Hahah I am glad I am not alone then ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ ahh that sounds really stressful ๐Ÿ˜” I hope you make it past it soon shivaniโค๏ธ sending lots of love! I am sure you will get back on track but don’t force yourself. โœจ

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Ahh so true. And ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ this is probably the first time someone is being stressed out with my writing. School is Defo important…but uh….it’s boring ๐Ÿ‘€
    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ But you are right. I should focus more. Thankx for this lovely comment ๐Ÿ’– and I am soo sorry for the late response ๐Ÿ˜ญ I am catching up on all the comments now.

    Like

  26. Ahh roshni ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ so sorry for the late response but I am just now catching up on all the comments. Thank you soo much for understanding ๐Ÿ’Ÿ ahh that’s stressful. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ Haha, no no!! Don’t worry. your advice is really concrete!! ๐Ÿ’–

    Writing essays ๐Ÿคฃ this comment totally makes sense. You are amazing โœจ

    Ahh the never ending delusions about our minds haha. Well, in hopes that one day it will all be better and happy like in the fairy tales ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’œ

    Like

  27. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚lol, looking forward to your spamming and never mind, guess you had a lot of comments to look at already.

    Like

  28. Oh, sorry you didn’t :/ Now I’m a bit scared of starting O_o

    Like

  29. Of course, of course. ๐Ÿค—

    Oh, that’s helpful! Thank you, Ash!! ๐Ÿ˜œ I may just sign up for one.
    Maybe.
    Probably not.
    *cough*

    ikr, why does it have to go by so fast?

    uffff. But I hate sounding uninterested. in comments. ๐Ÿ˜‘

    Haha, yeah. ๐Ÿ˜‚ You can post it instead of a quote. ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚
    and yes, it did help. A lot. ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ’™

    Liked by 1 person

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