feelings || excerpt from a book i’m writing #102

Feelings.

Emotions. Anger. Hurt. Love. Happiness. Frustration. Hope.

More anger.

Hurt.

Anger.

So many feelings. People say that you can die from the emptiness inside you. But I wonder, why do they never say that the vast oceans and waves inside you can drown you as well.

What about those people who drown in their emotions? Who feel too much?

Too much all at once?

And when those lovely emotions cascade down your body, seeps through every pore, every cell. Overwhelming you. Choking you.

You can’t take it but oh, how can you get rid of it? It is, but your heart.

How do you reach inside you?

How do reach outside you?

You can’t go anywhere.

You are stuck right there in the sea of those treacherous tears and pain.

You are stuck in the heart of your heart.

You are not empty. Definitely not. But then you wonder, wouldn’t it be so much better if you could just drown in that darkness? And then have the privilege of claiming, “Yes, I am. I am empty. And I don’t feel.”

-ashmita